Number 2 – Break the Rules

When you hear the term ‘break the rules’, what immediately comes to mind? As a kid, breaking the rules was perceived as naughty. When we grow up, some of us are sticklers for the rules, others spend their lifetime thinking outside the box, bending the ‘norm’, or breaking it completely. Not so naughty anymore, as this is where our greatest innovations and ideas have come from.

As an author, seeing this step as being a gateway to success, it really hit home for me, that my ideas and method of creating my work was far from normal, and this is incredibly empowering. I chose to self publish so that I could maintain complete creative control, something that is so important to me on this journey.

My goal is to bring infant loss to the surface. To encourage parents, teachers, nurses and even children, to discuss the grief associated with losing a child or sibling, and bring the subject out into the open.

Having a creative outlet has really helped with my grieving process. I have used my years of grief to create a legacy for my beautiful son Oskar and to honour Oli’s memory. This process has given me the strength to confront my deepest fears and trauma, in turn allowing me to support and help others, slowly but surely mending the broken heart I have lived with for so long.

There are certain ways to go about embarking on an author journey. I always had a complete and clear picture in my head as to what my books should be. There have been times that I’ve heard ‘that’s not the way it’s usually done’, or ‘your work is not consistent’, and although all the feedback I received was taken into consideration, sticking to my guns has been the only way for me.

So who determines how things are ‘usually done’ and what is ‘consistent’? Most likely it’s based on previous experience, knowing what works and what doesn’t. Is that truly original though? The ‘usually done’ thing has been done countless times before, it’s familiar, and this is why it works. Nothing new and interesting comes from ‘usually done’ if you ask me.

I’m on this journey to break cycles, to open doors, and to truly express myself. This cannot be done without breaking a few rules. I am proud to be able to think differently, to create something that’s not usually done. And when you see the finished product, when you hold your gorgeous creation in your hands and it’s more perfect that what you could have ever imagined, you just want to break as many rules as you can!

Working with other incredible authors has taught me that we all have a story to tell. We all want to express ourselves and feel empowered to make a difference through our writing, whether it be a children’s book, at memoir, poetry or a novel. I see the difference that this creative expression makes in people’s lives, and how awesome it is to break the rules.

I asked a few other authors to give me their insights into what the second step of the six steps to book marketing success – Break the Rules, meant to them, so here are their thoughts:

Ocean Reeve aka Superman – www.oceanreevepublishing.com

Not conforming to the mob mentality and stepping out of the crowd to make a authentic impact.

Kate Gale – www.kategaleauthor.com

What breaking the rules means to me is not being like everyone else, the “norm” and toeing the line. Pave your own way, step outside the comfort zone and stand out from the crowd. Be you!

Jacqui Preugschat – www.jacquipreugschat.com

I relate breaking the rules in step 2 to mean tapping into creativity and saying things like “imagine if… or what about this…”etc. Also not being afraid to fail in stepping out in those uncharted areas of creativity. I read a great quote from Simon Sinek-“If the challenge we face doesn’t scare us then it’s probably not that important”.

Vashty Wilson

I have never really been one to want to be like everyone else. I love to be different and guided by my own ideas and aspirations. I encourage the same of my daughter too. Be yourself, stand out from the crowd.

The common theme here, is that of being yourself, being authentic, not conforming to the crowd. This makes us special, it makes us unique and because of this way of thinking, amazing things happen.

So when you start a new project, whether it be writing or not, remember to be yourself, think outside the box, and break the rules! There is an incredible freedom in doing this, and with the freedom to think for yourself, comes success.

I asked a very special friend of mine to give me some insight into her thoughts of breaking the rules. Karyn is working on an incredible book called Dangerous Animals in the Home, I’ll let her tell you her story, you can find out about Karyn here: https://www.karynwebber.com.au, please join her mailing list and stay in touch, you won’t regret it!

Breaking the rules.

This is a very confronting statement to me. I’m a born Hairdresser, this makes me a people pleaser it makes me feel great when people are happy and feel fabulous around me.

As my journey continues, my hairdressing is my courage to break the rules and I want to break the rules to empower other people.

For 36 years I have been listening to many stories, this is what I mean by my courage. My clientele have given me courage by sharing their stories and some of the stories would make your heart break.

I have learnt no one travels through life without a major challenge, no matter how lucky you may think that person is, everyone experiences a major challenge. So having all the stories under my belt is my inspiration, and like I said, my courage to break the rules.

I’m very new in my author roll, and with the support of my publisher Ocean Reeve Publishing (ORP) and magic people like Kelly Maree and many other authors I have met with ORP mentoring, it makes breaking the rules feel a lot safer.

Breaking the rules to me is saying the words and speaking on subjects of incest and paedophilia and with my village of people, my strength is growing.

It’s only been in the last couple of years I have been brave enough to speak of my own experiences with incest and Paedophilia. I have felt people uncomfortable around me, and on rare occasions people have been insulting towards me.

I have let these experiences break my spirit, and I revert back into myself and question why I am doing this, and will I be strong enough. I then remember, I want for us all to start growing together and be strong enough to speak and protect our children and people in hard times and then like I said …with my village I can rebuild. My husband is always reminding me that we need to start breaking the rules of the silence of paedophilia and incest and the subjects on any story of hurt and grief that makes us humans uncomfortable, or react poorly because we don’t know how to take it in.

I’m glad each time I experience this uncomfortable feeling or insults, I am less and less effected by the negative, which makes me stronger and encourages me to get back up and break the rules one more time.

My main encouragement to my soul is number 1: conversations and number 2: how we get thru it without destroying families with poor reactive behaviour.

We need to be educated on how to let people talk and give them safe space to express without judgement, learn to keep advice for another time, learn to ask kind questions, learn to be quiet and keep a energy and expression of love and empathy without a lecture, learn to let others tell their story in their own time .

There is so many things we can do for when we don’t know what to say, we need to breathe and ask ourselves is this the kindest and loving thing I can do for this person, every person needs to feel heard and supported and protected.

Silence is what keeps abusers safe. When someone is hurt, the whole village hurts, especially if we do not know how to react and empathise.

This is what makes me want to break the rules, so we growing together and stay strong together and doing it in the most kindest way we can.

Karyn Webber

Isn’t that absolutely incredible? Connecting with authors and hearing their stories, it just makes this journey so much more amazing.

Stay tuned for the next post about number 3 of the six steps of book marketing success – Don’t be Afraid to Fail.

Kelly Maree